Officially Potty-Training

Sophia is now on day 2 of her official potty-training adventure. We're kinda doing things a little different with child #5...seeing as how she's actually been using the toilet for caca since she was about 11 months old (by her own choice). It was too painful for her to go in her diaper; so luckily we've been enjoying the last year of her telling us when she needs to go caca so we could put her on the toilet. But, now it is time for actual potty to also go in the toilet...yay!

She did fantastic yesterday!  Not one single accident.  She did decide toward the end of the evening (and so far today) that she'd go quicker for her dad and when I took her, it became more of conversation time with mom instead of potty-time. Paul now thinks that this must mean she likes him better (which is probably true). I think it means he just found himself a project during his week-long vacation...congratulations, sir!

She woke up early today and then took a little nap late this morning and was still dry!  I'm so looking forward (once again) to the end of our diaper days!

Updates

So, it's been like 10 months since I've updated this blog...and with 5 kids, a LOT has happened in those 10 months.  So, get ready for quite a few pictures with some short stories.  :)

Over last summer, Benjamin celebrated his 9th birthday.  He had a party with friends over and I do believe after all was said and done and the running around they did, those boys slept well that night.

Ben and his friends celebrating

My baby had her 1st birthday!  We had a small family gathering and her Tia Sunshine (my sister) was able to make it up from Las Vegas with her family...Sophia loved it and I love that her birthday is in July so the kids were able to play in the water outside!

My July babies - Gavin and Sophia

Her new chair from Tia Sunshine...

she still just loves this thing!

Not quite sure what to think of cake yet...

...but ends up loving her new treat!

Gavin attended his first week-long church youth camp.  He had such a great time fellow-shipping with others his age and came back to us on his 13th birthday!  We officially have a teenager and are taking this new journey one day at a time.

His birthday banana cream pie...

(2 of my kids prefer something other than cake...)

Sophia and I were lucky to have met up with my aunt Pam, who was visiting from Los Angeles.  She doesn't come up to Idaho very often and it was also the first time my mom's family has met Sophia so this was a treat for us.

My cousin, Tessa and her little boy, Colton;

Aunt Pam, me and Sophia

Sophia with her great-aunt Kathy

Mingling with great-aunts Tina and Shelly

Wanting up with aunt Pam

Jacob had a blast at Boondocks for this 7th birthday.  I appreciated that he only wanted his cousins, Liberty and Emma to join us--cause that place can get a little crazy wild.

Getting a little lift from cousin, Liberty

Miley and cousin, Emma celebrating with Jacob

Jacob and Liberty taking a break from the fun for a quick bite

The boys are all in school for a full day now.  Paul took Gavin to his first-day breakfast and then off to his first day in Jr. High.  The girls and I took Benjamin and Jacob to IHOP and then I grudgingly took them to start 4th and 1st grades.

Gavin, Benjamin and Jacob

This past Halloween was the first one in which Gavin stayed home and passed out candy instead of going out in the cold to collect it.  We did all attend our church Trunk or Treat, so he was able to get some goodies there (as well as from his 4 siblings, of course).

Carving fun...

'Tangled' Miley, 'Dallas Cowboy' Jacob,

'Football Player' Gavin, 'Froggy' Sophia & 'Mobster' Benjamin

Miley turned 5 in December.  We were going to have a neat little shin-dig with friends, but things got pretty hectic for us this year...next year for sure she'll have friends over.  So, we had family: Nanna (my mom) and Kay-Cee and Ellie (who the kids think is their cousin) over to celebrate.

Miley growing up way too fast...

 Miley during a ballet rehearsal

Random Picture Time:

 A rare photo with all 7 of us actually

looking at the camera at the same time

 This girl just loves her NFL Sundays...

 Gavin and Jacob staining their new bookshelf

 2 of my favorite people with

my 2 favorite flags

 Playdate with Kiari

 Nobody makes her laugh quite like an older brother can...

Checking herself out before going out in public

I kept the kids home Thursday as it was basically a skating rink over the roads.  Gavin waited for his bus for 20 minutes and it never even showed.  I didn't completely trust my Texas-raised husband on the roads so I just said I was calling a 'snow-day' for my kids and Paul only had to drive 3 miles to work (still took him twice as long to get there).  With Gavin's help watching Sophia, I was actually able to get quite a bit of cleaning done.  We even had time for a little 'experiment': watching color 'explode'.  I wish I would have done a video instead...the still picture doesn't quite do it justice.

Pour a layer of milk, add some food coloring,

then drop in some dish soap to watch the colors 'explode'

Loss and Love

Note: The following post may be a bit TMI for some...I apologize in advance...

Just this past Thanksgiving, I was lucky enough to have Paul and all the kids home for the week.  It was filled with quite a bit family time and the kids enjoying some time with their friends.  I was feeling a bit strange during the week, but we still managed to get our enchiladas/rice/beans and ham/potatoes prepped and cooked for our Thanksgiving meal (we are not big turkey fans).

A few days later, I still could not shake off this feeling in my stomach and it was starting to become uncomfortable and causing fatigue.  Realizing this was the 2nd time in my life I had had these "pains", I had finally asked Paul if he wouldn't mind running out and getting me a pregnancy test.  The mere act of asking him for this almost brought me to tears and I could see on his face the overwhelming concern as well.  [To any of you youngin's out there, ie: my nieces;  birth control can fail and yes, condoms CAN break...]  Off he went and was back in minutes.  A few minutes later I was waiting for results.  Then the tears really came...the test came back positive.

So many things began running through my head.  I was possibly for the first time in my life happy, sad and mad all at the exact same time.  Happy because of the immediate love for another life growing within.  Sad because I wasn't sure I wanted to share this experience with anyone other than Sophia.  Mad because HOW could this happen?!?!  I felt so out of control--a feeling I do not deal with well.  We were being careful, we are not prepared for SIX kids; why was this happening now?  After about 15 minutes, Paul came looking for me.  We both sat on the bathroom floor while he let me cry on his shoulder.  Not really saying anything, but both just scared of how, in that moment, our lives just made yet another dramatic change.

It took me a few days to call and schedule an appointment with the doctor.  I was just in a complete state of disbelief.  We had decided not to tell the kids...just in case, plus we didn't know how far along we were just yet.  I was able to get into the doctor after about 5 days since the at-home test.  I went in for the ultra sound and that's when I started getting yet another uneasy feeling.  The technician was unable to see the baby on the ultra sound so they had me take some blood tests to confirm the pregnancy.

Three blood tests over the next 10 days.  The outcome:  I was pregnant (less than 5 weeks along when I first went in).  Then we learned that the hcg levels were going down with every blood test.  I started fearing the worst which was also confirmed a few days after the last blood test.  I had started spotting over Christmas.  My baby was miscarried and my body was dealing with the loss.  The doctor felt that as long as my body was going through a natural process, a DNC would not be necessary.  The feeling of anger once again.  I was mad at myself for being sad when we had the positive at-home test.  I couldn't help but feel if I was more joyful about the pregnancy, I wouldn't be going through a miscarriage.

I remember, years ago, when I was told I likely would never be able to conceive; I used to think to myself: 'I may never be able to get pregnant, but at least I've never had to go through a miscarriage.'  I know we weren't all that far along, but I have decided it doesn't matter...a miscarriage sucks.  Plain and simple.  I've always considered myself pretty emotionally strong--in that I don't show my emotions all that much.  I can usually handle life and it's twists and turns.  It's not like we were 'planning' on getting pregnant, but I'll always wonder what it would have been like to meet this new little baby.  At first, I kind of just tried to shrug it off...I didn't want pity (and still, that is not what I'm looking for).  The beginning of the new year, though, I had to have my break down.  I'm sure my recent stream of emotions are from not only the emotional but physical loss.  Our kids still don't know about the pregnancy or the miscarriage--although I'm sure one day when they read this, they might think back and say, "Oh, that's why mom was a basket-case during that time."

Paul and I are firm believers that God doesn't give us struggles without also giving us ways to learn and grow from them...even though we may not know the lesson at the time.  I know He has His reasons for everything and I know I may never fully understand why I've lost so many important people in my life over the last 4 years.  I also know that I loved that baby and am so blessed to have the 5 children we do have walking on this earth and a loving husband that, although just as equally scared as I am at times, has become my rock when I can't help but feel weak.