Goodbye...for Now

As an few earlier posts stated, my dad had been battling kidney cancer.  By the time it was detected, he was already in stage 4 and had been living at the VA Hospital Long Term Care since February.  June and July of this year were crazy hectic on our family.  Most all spare time was spent visiting Dad in the hospital.  We all received several calls to come say our final goodbyes...but the old boy would pull through.  My older sister spent some serious money coming up from Las Vegas several times on a 'moments notice'.  Dad was able to come home for a few days in early July.  We were all able to gather around and laugh with him and remember healthier days.  At a certain point though, Dad basically became incoherent and was unable to communicate with us...but, that didn't mean he didn't hear us.  We were reminded of this at one point when I was sharing a story with Sunshine about how a month earlier Dad was teasing my about my swollen ankles (from pregnancy)...dad heard me talking and just chuckled in his sleep.  I absolutely LOVE that laugh and it will forever be in my heart.
You see, we did have to say goodbye to the man I've always had on a pedestal.  My father's final breath was taken on Saturday, July 16, 2011.

My Dad, Raul Reyes, at 17...

one of my favorite pictures of him

Dad on 4th of July, 2010

I have long considered myself one of the luckiest girls in the world for being this mans daughter.  The other "lucky girls" were my 2 sisters, Sunshine and Penelope.  Dad would be the first to admit that he wasn't a perfect father...but he was perfect for us.  Even through his parenting mishaps (which I would later learn we all go through), he made sure we, his children, knew that he loved us unconditionally (even through our own mistakes and struggles).  He treated each of us with the utmost respect--even when and especially if we didn't deserve it.  He taught me so much about life and family; I'm still learning from him and am sure I always will.  I remember him sharing with me stories of his life as a child migrant worker and his time overseas during the Vietnam War.  We would stay up into the wee hours of the night going through his Marine paperwork and pictures...time that would prove to be some of the most cherished...just me and my dad.  His laugh was so contagious.  It amazes me how many people bring up that laugh of his and his witty sense of humor.

4th of July, 2011...our last holiday together

  ...our last few days together...

I know I will see my Dad again...he was a true Believer and raised us kids as such.  My faith in Christ is a reflection of the example Dad was.  This is only "Goodbye for now".  I love you, Daddy...

A true hero...Semper Fi 

Raul Reyes

08/11/1949 to 07/16/2011

4th of July in Pictures

This year we had what ended up doing 3 different celebrations for Independence Day.  The first was our now annual trip to the God and Country Festival at the Idaho Center.  We all enjoy the groups that perform...especially the headliners and the kids LOVE the fireworks display at the end.  When we arrived, we tried to find "the perfect spot" to sit (which really means a spot big enough to fit our large blanket, all 6 of us and of course a little extra room for the kids to stretch out).  Paul picked a great one...especially since we coincidentally sat behind some friends of ours!

Group shot...Miley is turning into such a ham when it comes to camera-time...

...then again, she is Paul's daughter.

Dancing to The Afters

Bryce teasing Miley.  We were lucky to have

found seats next to Bryce & Chessica.

Jacob playing with his glow sticks...

***

Our 2nd celebration took place on July 3rd.  Off to Kay-Cee's house we went and had a great time BBQ'ing and socializing.  Kay-Cee had a bubble machine which was a hug hit with the kids.  We were able to get some fireworks in as well.

Bubbles!

Auntie Kay-Cee protecting

Miley from the noise...

***

Finally, we spent July 4th at home.  We were lucky to have Nanna and Poppi (my mom and dad) over for the occasion.  My dad had been in the VA long-term care since early March battling kidney cancer, but he was able to get a 'day-pass' so he could spend the holiday with me, Paul and the kids.  It would end up being his last holiday with us and I remember cherishing every moment with him that day, but that's another post.

The kids spent the earlier part

of the day on the slip-n-slide...

Picture time with Nanna and Poppi...

Kinda failed to get many pics of the actual fireworks...but ya'll know what they basically look like, right?  :)

Birthday + VBS + Carnival = BUSY June

Note: this post really was started during the end of June...It's just now being posted (a month later) as I am trying to play "catch-up" during our chaotic time...

So far, June has proven to be the start of a busy summer.  First off, it was nice to finally have a year where school let out in May.  The past 2 years, the last day of school has landed on Ben's birthday (June 3rd).  I imagine it's not so fun to get up on your birthday and have to go to school...especially when you have what appears to be a summer birthday...so if nothing else, it was at least a treat for him to be able to sleep in this year (which he did while Paul and I went off to work).  As with all of our kids on their birthdays, Ben was able to choose what was for dinner that day: he picked spaghetti.  I suspect he was talked into this by his little brother who craves spaghetti every day; but since Ben isn't as picky of an eater, he obliged (as did we).  He received some really spectacular gifts, including several Green Bay Packer items from Paul's parents.  He also received some money from Aunt Sunshine--which he hasn't yet decided what to spend it on...hmmmmm...the decisions of a now 8-year-old.  :)

Candles just waste time when there is cake to be eaten...

Aaron Rogers jersey and GB Packers hat...lucky boy.

***

A week after Ben's birthday, it was Gavin's turn for some much-deserved fun.  Gavin has been a huge help with his younger siblings this summer.  He has been their 'baby-sitter' until I come back home permanently.  Anyway, he has recently moved to the middle school class at church and they always do a special "Lock-In" to welcome the 6th-graders.  This year the event took place at Wahooz and Gavin had a blast.  The group pretty much had free-reign of the facility and he played laser tag to his hearts content.  He was also able to make some new friends--which is what concerned him in the beginning as he goes to school in Nampa but we go to church in Meridian.  Sad that there aren't any pictures, but what 11-1/2 year old wants their mom to stick around taking pictures of them.  He has officially hit the "just drop me off and pick me up" stage...I'll find a way to embaress him soon enough, I suppose.

***

The kids also had VBS (Vacation Bible School) at church this month.  [Miley wasn't supposed to go since she's not quite old enough, but we were lucky enough that they allowed her to be with the preschoolers anyway.  It was also Gavin's last year to be able to attend...next year he'll be old enough to volunteer though and he's already mentioned that he'd like to do so.]  It started on a Sunday and lasted 5 crazy, busy days.  Paul and I would rush home after work on Monday - Thursday, grab the kids (thank goodness Gavin mostly would have them all ready for us), and rush back to Meridian to get them to the church on time.  {Boy, I'll be glad when we move from Nampa and closer to everything we involve ourselves in.}  The great thing our church did this year was had a Bible study for the adults while the kids were in VBS.  This was so nice for Paul and I so we didn't have to make 2 trips to Meridian each day...plus we both really enjoyed the study.  Win Win.  The kids each had a blast...which I'm so grateful for (and grateful it only lasts 5 days).

Miley, Benjamin and

Jacob enjoying the

songs and dances

at VBS.

Gavin and his 5th Grade group performing their skit at VBS.

***

We were able to take the whole family to Dairy Days in Meridian this year.  We decided to get the boys unlimited ride passes as well...such a great investment.  Since Gavin and Ben are so much taller than the younger two, they were allowed to go off on the "big kid" rides by themselves (so long as Gavin kept his phone on him).  Meanwhile, Paul and I toted Jake and Miley around to the "little kid" rides.  Six hours of rides and carnival dinner made for a fun (albeit tiring) evening.  The kids enjoyed themselves so much and it was a needed family (of 6) night before the new arrival.  (I was a bit jealous that I wasn't able to ride the Zipper as I traditionally do...dang preggo belly.)

Ben (with his hand up) and Gavin (with NY hat) on the Pirate Ship ride

Miley & Jacob during their "Safari" ride...

Daddy was able to join Miley & Jake on the Carousel

Gavin & Ben getting on the Zipper...Ben's very first Zipper ride!

***

And although not in the post title, Paul and the boys were even able to get in a few fishing trips this month.  Paul even found a new fishing spot that he enjoys...only about 15 minutes from our house--bonus!  Although he "missed the big one", he did get some good catches.

Paul's catfish...

Baby Moving vs. Contractions vs. Braxton Hicks Contractions

So, what the heck is the difference between all of these things?  I am finding information on the internet; some useful and some conflicting...which does me absolutely no good.  I am hoping you ladies that have gone through this stuff and whom I trust can help me out.  :)

I have absolutely no idea what to expect but I am feeling some sharper movements (which I just assumed was the baby moving).  The doctor asked me last week if I've had any contractions yet and I just looked at her like a deer in headlights and then responed, "I don't know...what do they feel like?"  Her wise answer was that they feel similar to menstral cramps...um, problem: I've never experienced those either.  I think the unknown is the worst for my personality...grr.  Any advice would be appreciated.

(Oh, and look at that: 2 posts in the same month...must be some sort of record!)

All Growed Up...

...well, not quite.  My precious baby boy, Jacob, has graduated and I feel as though I have no more babies.  Ok, ok...I know he only graduated preschool and I know Miley is still 2 years younger than Jake and I know that we are expecting yet another child in just a few short weeks....BUT Miley is very much Daddy's girl (and she's aware of this) and the baby isn't here yet (plus, I think she'll be another Daddy's girl)...so, Jake was my last baby BOY...so sad.  Actually, both Jake and Miley graduated from preschool last week, but since Miley will be re-enrolled next fall, it was more just for show on her part.  Jacob has been enrolled in Kindergarten and will be gone all day long for 3-4 days a week.  (Nampa did away with half-day kindergarten last year.)   Here are a few shots of our 2 little graduates...

Intently listening to Miss Brianne...

 Jacob accepting his diploma...(paul did something weird to the camera)

Miley hamming it up while receiving her diploma

from Miss Brianne & Miss Meagan

 They each had to have a pic taken with proud daddy...

...and chose Pizza Hut for dinner after the graduation.

***

The summer break officially started here last week.  I always struggle with this time of year because I still like to keep some sort of schedule and I don't like the kids to feel as though they can just lounge and waste away the summer  (I know, mean mom).  Last year, I stayed home with the kids and we worked from home-school workbooks a few days a week.  I'm just so afraid everything they learned the last 9 months will slip out of their little brains during the next 3 months.  Jacob is also concerned that he's not able to read well enough for kindergarten so that is something I've promised him that we will work on this summer.  I do have some fun activities planned for them this summer...so I'm not entirely mean, right?

***

A few weekends ago, I was getting pretty restless in my present state.  I wanted to be able to go do something before the baby's arrival.  So, I suggested to Paul that we go camping/fishing for a night during Memorial Day Weekend.  Stupid.Pregnant.Lady.  First off, we knew it would be a tight fit with the 6 of us + 2 carseats + tent + misc. camping gear + fishing gear (I swear we need a Suburban but I refuse to own one); so we had to pick a spot fairly close by.  We chose Fairwell Bend in Oregon.  My aunt and uncle had taken Gavin and Ben last year to this spot and the boys just loved it.  It's not the mountains by any means, but it does have a great campground next to the River, complete with bathrooms and showers.

We arrived on Sunday afternoon and started to set up our tent.  Of course (as with most Memorial Day weekends around here), it started to rain.  At first, just some sprinkles (thank goodness we were able to get the tent up during this time)...then it started raining even harder.  Great!  The plan was for me to go fishing on Sunday and Paul would go on Monday (we only had day passes for Oregon)...well, that didn't work out since this Preggo wanted nothing to do with standing out getting soaked while holding a pole waiting for a catfish to bite.  Instead, I tried to stay in the tent as much as possible.  It did finally stop raining by the time the sun went down and we were able to enjoy some S'mores with the kids (messy).

Then, it was off to bed.  Anybody who thinks camping with a tent and sleeping on the ground while 8-1/2 months pregnant is a good idea ought to be slapped...just sayin'.  Even Jacob told Paul, "we shoulda gone to a hotel, daddy.  They're more better."  Out of the mouths of babes.  Tossing and turning all night, I don't actually remember any sleeping going on...I could not wait until morning so I could get up.  Of course, nobody else was even thinking about waking up at the hour I did.

Anyway, by the time we did all get up, Paul and I had to start taking down the tent and packing up.  He was going to try to get a little fishing in after we were ready to go.  By chance, he decided to start the Tahoe when...it wouldn't start.  Grrrr.....  Seriously!?!?  We found the campground manager and he was able to jump us.  We let it run for a bit, turned it off and started it again...all good.  Crisis averted.  Paul was finally able to throw out a few casts and then we decided it was time to get going.  All 6 of us packed back in the Tahoe and we were ready when...it wouldn't start AGAIN!  Paul did NOT want to ask the same person for another jump (within an hour of the 1st one), so he decided to find another camper.  Luckily, he ran into a former Marine...whooha!  My father would be proud!  Finally, we were truly on our way home.

Gavin & Ben playing some football while we set up camp...

 Our little pyro takes after both his parents...

All the kids waiting for dad to finish fishing...

***

And, to wrap-up our long weekend, we made a visit to the best Marine of all...my Dad!  He started chemo last week and has been tremendously tired lately but we were glad to be able to spend a few hours with him on Memorial Day.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming...

Well, true to form, it has been quite some time since my last post...like 3 1/2 months.  :(  Now I'm starting to feel a bit guilty as I write this post because I already know it's going to be a lot of 'poor-me' blah that I'm not so big on--you've been warned.  I just feel that I need to get it out otherwise I'm going to keep my crying up and that doesn't seem to be doing anybody any favors.  So, here goes my venting:

As of today, I am 31 weeks along in my pregnancy.  Yay!  So much has happened since my last post at 17 weeks.

My dad's health for one, has not been, shall we say, stellar.  About 4 months ago, my dad started losing weight (like dropping 60 pounds in about 6 weeks).  We didn't really know why, he just said he'd get nauseous if he ate anything so he just stopped eating.  Not good.  He checked with his doctor at the VA and they of course ran some tests.  It felt like forever getting the results.  We finally learned that he had anemia and a stomach bacteria called H Pilor (sp?).  They also noticed some sort of cyst or tumor in the middle of one of his kidneys.  Now, if anybody knows me, they know that my dad is pretty much on a pedestal in my eyes and I would do anything for him just as he did everything for us as a family.  This news devastated me to the core.  My dad was immediately admitted to the VA Hospital and has been there for the past month and a half.  In the midst of the doctors working to get my dad's strength back, they discovered that the cyst is indeed cancerous and has spread.  I hate seeing my father like this and I know he's not a big fan either.  The thing that scares me the most is sometimes when we talk, it's like he's saying his 'goodbyes'.  I'm such a "daddy's-girl" that I just break down during these conversations.  I know I need to remain strong, but it's so difficult when my entire life he's been my strength.  It's not like he's giving up, it's just that he's such a man of God and not afraid of death.  I, however, am not quite ready to let him go.  I need him to stay and meet his new granddaughter and to hold her the way he'd hold us as babies.  Nope...not ready to give him up just yet.

My older sister, Sunshine was able to make it down in March to visit with Dad in the hospital.  It was a quick visit, but it was nice to have a sibling around again to help shoulder some worry about our parents.  While she was here, she asked if any plans had been made yet for a Baby Shower for Sophia...um, nope.  She offered to throw one for me :), but there is a slight problem: we don't know where we can hold it.  (Suggestions?)  Which brings me to life-change #3:

Our house is for sale.  Yes.  After 2 years it is time for us to say goodbye to the home that fit our needs so perfectly; well, except for one huge thing: it's in Nampa.  Paul and I have decided that it is best for us to move to Boise and the sooner the better.  We had hoped to be able to do so before the baby entered our lives, but it looks like that probably won't happen.  So I am stressing about keeping a clean house with 4 kids and I am losing energy quickly with the pregnancy.  Grrrrr...
I am excited to be able to get back to Boise, though.  With Paul's commute time shortened, it'll mean more time he can help out with the kids.  We've been telling the kids all about how much better it will be to get closer to things like the zoo and the Steelhead games, etc.  Most of them are buying it, but Gavin is having a difficult time with the fact he'd be moving away from his friends.  Weekend visits from Nampa friends are now on the list of things to look forward to.

Today Jake and Miley had a dentist appointment that was already rescheduled once because Miley was sick with grossness from who-knows-where.  Paul was on the way to their dentist appointment when all of a sudden, Jacob threw up all over Paul's car (thank goodness it wasn't my Tahoe).  When does it ever end?  Well, I received Paul's frustrated call while I was at work and had to go home to relieve him so he could go to work since he did have deadlines on his jobs.  Jacob hasn't been sick in over a year and now this...man oh man.  Please please let this be the end of the sickness in our home.

So now that I read this, I feel just like a big whiner...oh, well.  I'm pregnant, hormonal and on an emotional high from hell.  Every little thing that seems to go wrong just makes me want to tear up again and again.  I hope and pray it will get better.  I am tired of stressing over everything on our plate at the moment.  I've only slightly started to get ready for the baby and the only thing she has to come home to is a crib right now (thank God we saved that from Miley).  9 weeks can't go buy quick enough.  Now to check on my sleeping Jake.

17 Weeks!

Well, I had my 17 week appointment yesterday.  My lil' pumpkin is doing just fine.  'His' heart rate is @ 140 bpm and my doctor said that if the old wives' tale is accurate, we should be expecting a boy!  I know...not very reliable, but the news made me happy all the same.  We will have THE big ultrasound on February 23rd.  I'm so excited--I think once we know for sure what to expect, I'll feel like I can truly start preparing.

Last Wednesday, I do believe I felt something...at first it felt like a cramp and then all of a sudden, a movement that felt very much like a fluttering of bubbles or a waterbed...weird, I know.  I'm not sure if it was a substantial movement and I haven't felt much since...but it was pretty awesome just the same.

Paul's also getting more and more excited.  I think knowing this will definately be our last child has put a whole new perspective on things for him.  A couple of weeks back, he was given the opportunity to babysit for our friend, Kay-Cee.  Her daughter, Ellie, is 8 months old and just about the cutest thing in the world.  However, Paul was a bit nervous at first...him with all of our 4 kids plus Ellie--all day long.  By the time Kay-Cee came to pick up Miss Ellie, Paul was a little sad to see her go...he told us about their day and how they played and how she observed everything and had a blast with our roudy bunch.  He was most excited that he still had 'The touch'...his unique ability to get a baby to sleep while rocking them in his arms...so cute.  He was glad to get back into 'baby-mode' close to the time we would be welcoming ours.  Such a good daddy.

Gavin and Ben seem mostly indifferent at this point...I suppose if I'd gone through the whole 'mom's pregnant' as many times as they have, I would be too.  I think they'll want to get more involved once I start showing and once we all know the gender.

Jake, on the other hand, is probably the most excited of all.  A few weeks ago, he and Miley (who still just thinks the baby's going to come out every day...ah, the mind of a 3-year-old) went through all of their toys and brought them into my room for me to save for the baby.  It was adorable.  I kept trying to explain that the baby wouldn't quite be ready for their toddler toys but they both thought I was crazy.  Just this past Sunday, Jake was on the computer with me and decided that he needed to pick out toys just for the baby.  He took control of the computer and clicked on any baby toy he thought his new brother would like (he refuses to believe that it could possibly be a girl).  The funny thing is that he thinks that him simply clicking on the picture means he has purchased the item and the toys should be here any day now...

As stated in my earlier post, my morning sickness is becoming less and less but I still do get it every now and again...usually when I start to worry that something bad has happened.  I'm convinced it's God's way of reminding me that nothing bad has happened and I need to just relax.  Easier said then done...
Here are some ultrasound pics from our first visit @ 9 weeks (not the best scanner).